A human furniture fetish, how funny is that? Yes, we know you take it seriously. You love to be a piece of furniture, it makes you horny to pose as an end table. A fine doily on the hump, a floor lamp on the spine, so you crouch in the corner and have horny thoughts. Or are you even a coffee table, on which the remote controls and the puzzle book lie. A simple, flat table, on which one also likes to put his feet. You are not a footstool, you don’t seem like a footstool, footstools are different. You could also be a footstool. Are we right, are you a footstool? You are too small for a sofa, but you could be used as an armchair. Shall we get you sex partners to use you as furniture? Would you like to live out your human furniture fetish?
THE BIZARRE CIRCUS OF PERVERSIONS
We know people who have space for you. For them you can be a floor lamp for a while, or a shoe cabinet, or a kitchen table. You can stand around and masturbate as usual by your gender. They let you be a sideboard, they take care of you with precious oils, polisher and furniture spray. You will smell so good. Oh, if only you were a dressing table, then you could be there when the madame freshens up her make-up. Standing naked in the living room of strangers. A lampshade on your head, a cable in your butt, what could be more desirable? Hopefully you are not a slut, we expect you to stand on the small coasters when you serve as furniture, standing on a carpet. We see already, we understand each other, we can promote you as a human furniture, we have freaks with object fetish.
LIVE OUT YOUR HUMAN FURNITURE FETISH AS A CHAIR
Maybe they’ll shove an umbrella up your ass and use you as an umbrella stand before they throw you in the bulky waste because nobody uses an umbrella stand anymore these days. You would probably prefer to be the laundry muff at Mrs. Müller and her beautiful daughters. Wishful thinking Dude, that might suit you, but first you’ll be a piece of garden furniture on which the cat sleeps at night. We understand how you tick, we know about the human furniture fetish, we introduce you to people to whom you may serve as a furnishing object. The circus of perversions is here for freaks like you, we will never deny you. Are you looking forward to your first fetish date? You should be happy as a lark, as it’s going to be that good.